Is This The Best Blonde Joke Ever?

The Atheologist does not often stray from his usual subject matter, but this blonde joke was too good to pass up.

And if you want to talk about straying, a well known bacon eating, Jewish Atheist recently posted this on his blog which has nothing to do with being Jewish, an Atheist or even eating bacon.

And when you think about it, a lot of people do appear to worship blondes and treat them as goddesses, so it may not be too far from the Atheologist’s usual topics. When he looked into it, the Atheologist could not believe the amount of blonde worshipping that goes on, try Googling “blonde” and “goddess” and see how many hits you get. (Try Googling “blonde” and “naked” and you’ll get even more.)

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. The Atheologist has found what he believes is the best blonde joke ever, click here to see it, and if you think you know of a better one, please let the Atheologist in on it.

The Atheologist

What Is An Atheist-Fundie?

We have all heard about the various Religious-Fundametalists, that there are in the world. ("Fundie", for short, usually refers to the Christian variety in the USA).
But what is an Atheist-Fundie, do they even exist? Yes they do!
The Atheologist believes that he has come up with various criteria to find out if you or someone you know may be an Atheist-Fundie.

You may be an Atheist-Fundie if:

You are furious at God for not existing.
You refuse to use the word “excruciating” because of its origins in describing the agonies of crucifixion. (ex crucis – from the cross).
You get angry when Christians tell you you're going to a place that you don't think exists.
You address Christians with terms such as “waco”, “Jesus Freak” or “looney toon”
You're saving up to move to some more enlightened place, like Sweden.
You refer to the crucifixion of Jesus as the “cruci-fiction”.
You refer to the Bible as the “buy-bull”.
If someone says “God Bless” when you sneeze, you make them take it back.
You categorize the Mel Gibson movie, “The Passion of the Christ”, as a horror or a historical fiction film.
You think eating bread and drinking wine is cannibalism.
The only Commandments you know are the ones that are unconstitutional.
You not only spell “God”, with a lower case “g”.
When you go to a bookstore, you move all the Bibles to the “fiction” section.
You think that if schools teach the Intelligent Design theory of creation, they should also teach about the legend of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
You believe that life came from nonlife, yet deny the possibility of anyone rising from the dead. (Ex: Jesus or The Blood Count).
You call your view which is held by a small minority of the American public, “common sense”.

You know who you are.

The Atheologist

Is The New Pope A Horny Guy?

The Atheologist and others often uses Pastor Fred Phelps as a source of information when it comes to Christian and religious issues in general.
A good example of why he and the Westboro Baptist Church have such a good reputation can be seen in a fairly recent event. The Westboro Baptist Church has been informing the world that Pope John Paul II had been doing the work of his father the devil, and that Pope John went straight to hell when he died on April 2nd of last year. There is now some evidence that not only may that be the case, but that the new Pope may in fact be the devil, (previous statements by Pope John Paul II about President Bush being the Antichrist, may have just been a smokescreen.) An Associated Press photograph of Pope Benedict XVI, which appeared in some newspapers on April 22nd of last year shows what appears to be horns poking out of his head. The Atheologist emailed the photo to Pastor Fred, he had this to say about it,

"Like 'My Favorite Martian', whose antennae makes appearances at inconvenient times so do the Pope's horns. This is not an illusion and I didn’t need to see this photograph to confirm what I have been saying all along. Will this wake up the roughly one billion hell bound members of the Church Of The Holy Pedophiles? I doubt it. Even his name, “Benedict”, was changed from, “Beelzebub”, because some Catholics, even though most of them are as dumb as string cheese, would have figured it out."

Fred went on to tell me that except for the occasional altar boy mishap, there hasn’t been much going on in the Catholic Church and he added that,

"The Mary worshiping idolatrous morons haven’t participated in any recent holocausts, crusades or heretic burnings, but that may all change now that The Prince of Darkness is in charge. This is a good thing, because it means that we are nearing the end times and final judgment day, a wonderful, happy and joyous time when most of the world will be sent to burn in hell for all eternity!"

Thank you once again, Pastor Fred, for your insight.

The Atheologist

What's A Terrorist Martyr To Do?

One of the amateurish drawings of Muhammed that the Atheologist commented on here, offers some insight into the problem that young horny Muslim terrorist martyrs face today. The theory that the Muslim heaven has run out of virgins, may in fact not be just a theory and not such a recent occurrence either. The surprising revelation that many of the 9/11 hijackers that were on the FBI’s list, are in fact alive may offer some insight.The FBI seems as confused as almost everyone else.
The Atheologist usually looks for the simplest and most reasonable explanation when he finds himself in a quandary. That possible explanation comes from none other than one of the originally suspected hijackers,Saudi Arabian pilot, Waleed Al Shehri. who was one of five men that the FBI had said had deliberately crashed American Airlines flight 11 into the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. When the Atheologist caught up with Waleed in Morocco he had this to say,

“I’m not saying that I did or didn’t fly the plane into the one of the American Devils’ twin towers, but I may be alive and well today because there may or may not be any virgins, at least any young and beautiful ones left in Allah’s great heaven. I was or was not given the choice of taking only 4 of these bottom of the barrel, ugly old women as my wives, or returning to my earthly existence,and I may or may not have chosen to return to earth. That is why I may or may not be here today.”

The Atheologist got to thinking about all the young Muslim girls, being killed recently in Iraq and around the world. Is it possible that the supply of virgins has been replenished to pre 9/11 numbers? Is the Islamic heaven a rocking place again? There’s only one way to find out, but the Atheologist is not a gambling man.

Should Born Again Christians Be Required To Get New Birth Certificates?

Should born again Christians be required to get new birth certificates?

Okanogan County, in Washington State, may just be the first municipality in the USA to require new birth certificates to those who have accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior. The Weekly World News has the details.
For those Christians needing a new certificate, one can be aquired here.
Hurry, get yours before the Rapture!

The Atheologist