What Is An Atheist-Fundie?
We have all heard about the various Religious-Fundametalists, that there are in the world. ("Fundie", for short, usually refers to the Christian variety in the USA).
But what is an Atheist-Fundie, do they even exist? Yes they do!
The Atheologist believes that he has come up with various criteria to find out if you or someone you know may be an Atheist-Fundie.
You may be an Atheist-Fundie if:
You are furious at God for not existing.
You refuse to use the word “excruciating” because of its origins in describing the agonies of crucifixion. (ex crucis – from the cross).
You get angry when Christians tell you you're going to a place that you don't think exists.
You address Christians with terms such as “waco”, “Jesus Freak” or “looney toon”
You're saving up to move to some more enlightened place, like Sweden.
You refer to the crucifixion of Jesus as the “cruci-fiction”.
You refer to the Bible as the “buy-bull”.
If someone says “God Bless” when you sneeze, you make them take it back.
You categorize the Mel Gibson movie, “The Passion of the Christ”, as a horror or a historical fiction film.
You think eating bread and drinking wine is cannibalism.
The only Commandments you know are the ones that are unconstitutional.
You not only spell “God”, with a lower case “g”.
When you go to a bookstore, you move all the Bibles to the “fiction” section.
You think that if schools teach the Intelligent Design theory of creation, they should also teach about the legend of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
You believe that life came from nonlife, yet deny the possibility of anyone rising from the dead. (Ex: Jesus or The Blood Count).
You call your view which is held by a small minority of the American public, “common sense”.
You know who you are.
The Atheologist
But what is an Atheist-Fundie, do they even exist? Yes they do!
The Atheologist believes that he has come up with various criteria to find out if you or someone you know may be an Atheist-Fundie.
You may be an Atheist-Fundie if:
You are furious at God for not existing.
You refuse to use the word “excruciating” because of its origins in describing the agonies of crucifixion. (ex crucis – from the cross).
You get angry when Christians tell you you're going to a place that you don't think exists.
You address Christians with terms such as “waco”, “Jesus Freak” or “looney toon”
You're saving up to move to some more enlightened place, like Sweden.
You refer to the crucifixion of Jesus as the “cruci-fiction”.
You refer to the Bible as the “buy-bull”.
If someone says “God Bless” when you sneeze, you make them take it back.
You categorize the Mel Gibson movie, “The Passion of the Christ”, as a horror or a historical fiction film.
You think eating bread and drinking wine is cannibalism.
The only Commandments you know are the ones that are unconstitutional.
You not only spell “God”, with a lower case “g”.
When you go to a bookstore, you move all the Bibles to the “fiction” section.
You think that if schools teach the Intelligent Design theory of creation, they should also teach about the legend of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
You believe that life came from nonlife, yet deny the possibility of anyone rising from the dead. (Ex: Jesus or The Blood Count).
You call your view which is held by a small minority of the American public, “common sense”.
You know who you are.
The Atheologist
posted by The Atheologist | 7:11 AM
6 Comments:
I said yes to 7 or 8 of them.
The last two on your list are most likely believed by every Atheist.
When you go to a bookstore, you move all the Bibles to the “fiction” section.
What a GREAT idea... Maybe the next time I'm in Borders. [snigger]
Please don't mock my belief in the flying spaghetti monster.
I meant no harm JF, may his noodly appendage forever flail.
lol
surely an atheist doesn't think bread and wine are made of humans....
Simon,
No, bread & wine are not made from humans. Soylent Green, however, is another matter....
;-)
Post a Comment
<< Home