The Atheologist

Theology is the study of theism; Atheology is the study of atheism. I am The Atheologist. Why don’t Atheists embrace religion when the vast majority of humans do? Why are Atheists regarded by most of society as thugs, rabble, vermin and generally naughty people. The Atheologist will attempt to seek out the true answers to these and many more questions by using logical assumptions, interviews with people of all faiths and really, really good research. The Atheologist wants to know.

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  • Monday, November 28, 2005

    Was the USA founded on Christian principles?

    We hear the arguments all the time. The USA was founded on Christian principles say some Christians. No it wasn’t say the Atheists and others. Who is correct?
    The Atheologist will attempt to answer this question once and for all.

    The Atheologist did a Google search and as anticipated the results went something like this, Group A, mainly Christians say, “yes the USA was founded on Christian principles”, while Group B, the Atheists, Deists, Secularists, Humanists, historians, and pretty much everyone else says, "no the USA was not founded on Christian principles”, “was too”, “was not”, “was too”, “was not”, “was too”, “was not”, “was too"….and on and on it went until the Atheologist’s head hurt..

    The Atheologist turned to the founder of the Christian Coalition, Pat Robertson, who on page 270 of his book The Turning Tide writes:

    "It is certainly true that the precepts of faith are interwoven throughout the founding documents of this nation. The forms of our constitutional government - as implemented by Jefferson, Madison, Franklin, Washington, Adams, and others - were carefully designed to acknowledge the authority of the Scriptures and our dependence upon the Creator."
    “Now would I write it if it wasn’t true?”

    And he added that Maryland was named after Jesus’ mother.

    The Atheologist then turned to someone with an opposing view, Reverend Barry W. Lynn; executive director of American’s United for Separation of Church and State. Barry says that it is a myth that America is a Christian nation. He then proceeded to throw questions at me like; - Where in the Bible are any Democratic principles even mentioned? Why is God or Jesus never mentioned in the US constitution? Why would Thomas Jefferson say, “Christianity neither is, nor ever was a part of the common law” or why would Thomas Paine say , “The age of ignorance commenced with the Christian system”. These were two of our great founding fathers. And then we have James Madison who said, “Ecclesiastical establishments tend to great ignorance and corruption, all of which facilitate the execution of mischievous projects” and Benjamin Franklin, "I have found Christian dogma unintelligible. Early in life I absented myself from Christian assemblies." Would two of the main authors of our constitution say things like that if they were using Christian principles as a framework for our country?. - I guess Barry didn’t understand that I was supposed to be asking the questions, not him. I needed answers not more questions.

    The Atheologist wasn't getting anywhere so he turned to one of his often used sources; Pastor Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church,

    “God sent his followers to claim America as the New Canaan” says Fred, “haven’t you ever read the Bible you hell bound pervert, the Bible and the founding of this once great country are undeniably linked. Read God's book and learn about the great Christian principles that this country was founded on. For example, our forefathers, such as Thomas Jefferson and George Washington owned slaves. The Old and New Testaments permit slavery and have rules about beating and treating slaves. The original U.S. Constitution permitted slavery and so did Jesus. The secular, liberal, God-hating heathens later changed the constitution, and turned against God, to suit their needs. The keeping of women in their proper place, (Ephesians 5:22-24 and 1Timothy 2:11-12), and the wiping out of the red man, (Numbers 33:52-53), were also some of our other original Christian principles that we hardly follow anymore. This country will pay dearly for these transgressions against our Lord. If we don’t go back to our glorious Christian roots and basic Biblical laws such as stoning fags and stubborn children to death, then 9/11 and Katrina will seem like nothing compared with what the good Lord has in store for you devil worshipping dogs. Do you have any more stupid questions you homo fag sodomite?”

    No, I did not.

    The Atheologist

    Thursday, November 17, 2005

    Are Atheists Boring People?

    While religious people are busy making the big headlines, what are the Atheists of the world up to? When people of faith are always in the news, making the big story of the day by - blowing themselves up, killing their children, flying planes into buildings, having fun with altar boys, starting wars, blowing up people, etc... Atheists it seems are just sitting back and taking it easy. Why is that? The Atheologist posed this question to Catholic League president William Donohue, he responded by saying:

    "It is their lack of motivation that is the main problem with these Atheists. I can't speak for the other fake religions but we Catholics have great history and standards to uphold. Who could forget the inquisition or the Crusades or witch burning even, oh the good old days! These Atheists have no guiding force in their lives, no supernatural being that they have to please and win the love of. They are just a bunch of boring slackers without any real purpose in life. Oh, and what happened with the altar boys?"
    Well the Atheologist would have to agree with old Bill, after all he has the title, "president", so he must know what he's talking about. So get with the program all of you good for nothing Atheists. The Atheologist can only hope to see headlines someday that read, "Atheists Fight Agnostics In The Streets" or "Atheists Terrorize The Blood Count As He's Napping Before Dark"

    The Atheologist

    Monday, November 14, 2005

    The Atheologist's Definitions of Some Important Words

    Theism - the belief in a god or gods
    Atheism - the absence of the belief in a god or gods
    Agnosticism - the belief that one cannot ever know positively whether or not supernatural phenomena, especially gods, exist
    Deism - belief in a God who created the world but has since remained indifferent to it
    Apostate - one who renounces and criticizes or opposes their former religion
    Dogma - a system of principles or tenets, as of a church
    Bible - the sacred book of Christianity, (the Atheologist uses the King James version for all his quotes and research)
    Koran or Qur'an - the sacred text of Islam
    Faith - belief that is not based on proof
    Secular - not relating to religion or to a religious body
    God - the supernatural being conceived as the perfect and omnipotent and omniscient originator and ruler of the universe; the object of worship in monotheistic religions
    Heathen - one who does not acknowledge your God; ie, we are all heathens
    Infidel - one who doubts or rejects a particular doctrine, system, or principle: ie, we are all infidels
    Liberal - someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people - their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties - someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad; if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal." - John F. Kennedy
    Blood Count - Dracula
    Terrorist - someone who engages in acts or an act of terrorism
    Christian Terrorist- someone who terrorizes Christians*
    Muslim Terrorist - a dedicated follower of Islam, who terrorizes others, (very often Christians)*
    Muslipede - the sudden headlong rush of Muslims, often causing high numbers of injuries and deaths

    *So we can see from these definitions that a Christian terrorist does not necessarily have to be a Muslim, but a Muslim terrorist is always one.