Santorum To Puerto Rico: This Is America, Speak English!

Republican presidential hopeful Rick Santorum, in an interview with the El Vocero newspaper on Wednesday, told Puerto Ricans they would have to make English their primary language if they want to pursue U.S. statehood.

As he was exiting a special-needs school in San Juan today, with his wife, Karen, and five of their seven children he clarified his statement:

"If the spics living here want statehood, they need to speak English and have to stop having sex with their goats. Oh, and it’s 'Jesus', not, 'hey-soos', ok!"

The Atheologist

Ray Is Right

A couple of the Atheologist's co-workers were having a chat recently about politics.

A question was asked by the co-worker standing to the left of the Atheologist to the co-worker standing to the right,

"Why do Conservatives think that progress is made by moving backwards?"

The co-worker standing to the right, (lets call him, "Ray"), seemed to twitch a little then a slight growl may have been heard. He then responded, at the top of his lungs, (probably just in case people in the next room were interested), with this:

"You want to know why? You want to know why?

Because sometimes you have to move backwards so you don't fall off the cliff. The cliff of Socialism, liberalism,  homosexialism,  Muslimism and atheism. That's why!!!   Jesus Christ, women can vote now can't they?!?!?!?"

"Ray", then stormed out of the room.

Another co-worker of the Atheologist then wondered out loud whether or not there were any guns or swords lying around the office.

The Atheologist