The Atheologist

Theology is the study of theism; Atheology is the study of atheism. I am The Atheologist. Why don’t Atheists embrace religion when the vast majority of humans do? Why are Atheists regarded by most of society as thugs, rabble, vermin and generally naughty people. The Atheologist will attempt to seek out the true answers to these and many more questions by using logical assumptions, interviews with people of all faiths and really, really good research. The Atheologist wants to know.

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  • Monday, May 07, 2007

    Does Jesus Like Big Butts?

    A new diet which emphasis improving health as a pathway to serving god is catching on for growing number of black women.
    SisterTalk is one such program in which religious themes, most of which, use the experiences and teachings of Jesus Christ and other bible figures to provide support in their, ‘get healthy and lose weight’, lessons. Sandra Moseby, along with her mother Frances, a participant in SisterTalk explains:

    “We know that we all fall down, but we’re motivated by the lessons and by each other to get up again”

    With obesity being the national crisis that it has become in America, the Atheologist figured that any attempt to reverse the trend would be welcomed, but The Atheologist has found one group that is opposed to this holy approach to health, (and surprisingly it was not the Atheists), it was black men. It seems that black men love for their women to have some junk in their trunks and there seems to be a growing opposition to programs such as SisterTalk. ‘The Big Sista Lovas Association’, is one such organization. It’s spokesman and head of operations, ‘Jaycee’, explains:

    “It’s just ridiculous that’s all. If our females start baking their chicken instead of frying or forget how to make sweet potato pie or stop dropping a fatty ham hock into our collard greens that would upset me and Jesus too! Allow me to explain. Since it has been definitively proved that Jesus was a brother, he would most undiscrutably want our sisters to cook traditional soul food. You see, Jesus never got married or even had a girl friend because back in the Bible days there was no soul food or even any KFCs around. People be eatin figs and dates and nuts and shit and the sisters couldn’t be putting on any weight like that. Jesus couldn’t find a woman with any meat on her bones so he remained bachelorized for his whole life. F*#k SisterTalk, if our sisters sit around and talk, then they can’t eat and if they don’t eat then they will start to shrivel and their butts will disproportionably start to shrink away. We have enough of those skinny black women around like Halle Berry and Tyra. We gots to put a stop to this nonsense!”

    The Atheologist has found that, (According to the American Obesity Association), obesity rates are the highest among blacks and Latinos. Research compiled in a 2006 Harris Interactive survey, found that 80 percent of adult black women and 67 percent of adult black men are overweight and studies suggest these numbers are rising. Those are alarming numbers; hopefully Jesus will change his attitude real soon.

    The Atheologist