The Atheologist

Theology is the study of theism; Atheology is the study of atheism. I am The Atheologist. Why don’t Atheists embrace religion when the vast majority of humans do? Why are Atheists regarded by most of society as thugs, rabble, vermin and generally naughty people. The Atheologist will attempt to seek out the true answers to these and many more questions by using logical assumptions, interviews with people of all faiths and really, really good research. The Atheologist wants to know.

My Photo
Name:
Location: United States
  • Definitions , Email the Atheologist
  • Thursday, May 04, 2006

    Evangelist Inadvertently Turns Christians Into Homosexuals

    Well known evangelist, Ray Comfort along with his partner Kirk Cameron have a popular, “Way Of The Master”, video out, in which Ray explains that God created the banana to fit the human hand and mouth, thus proving that creationism and God exists, evolution is a lie and Atheists are going to hell. The video has had an unintended side effect though. Here are some quotes from it:

    Note that the banana, (the Atheists' nightmare);

    Is shaped for human hand.
    Has non-slip surface.
    Has outward indicators of inward content;
    Green-too early,
    Yellow-just right,
    Black-too late.

    Has a tab for removal of wrapper...contents don't squirt in your face.
    Is perforated on wrapper.
    Has a bio-degradable wrapper.
    Has a point at top for ease of entry.
    Is pleasing to taste buds .
    Is shaped for human mouth.
    Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy.

    Although quite persuasive, the video has inadvertently awoken some latent homosexual feelings in many, mainly young, Christian men. Many ex-gay Christian ministries, such as Love In Action and Exodus International have reported a large increase in the number of inquiries and requests for help by these men and their new found gayness.

    The entire video can be seen here, with the banana segment starting at approximately three and a half minutes into it or here for the banana segment alone. (The Atheologist isn’t sure but it looks like Kirk is more turned on by Ray's banana than by Jesus.)

    A suggestion to Kirk and Ray from the Atheologist: Next time use a pomegranate instead of a banana. Pomegranates, unlike bananas are not sexy fruits and they are often mentioned in the Bible.
    Now the Atheologist needs to go take a cold shower.

    The Atheologist

    10 Comments:

    Blogger The Jewish Freak said...

    That is very funny sir. You have made my day.

    5:21:00 PM  
    Blogger The Atheologist said...

    Thank you, jewish freak,

    I mainly try to amuse myself; when I amuse others it's a bonus.

    3:09:00 PM  
    Blogger Rukh said...

    The video is so corny I almost thought Kirk Cameron was just pulling a big joke, but alas...it seems he is just that corny. If anything the video shows just how stupid some x-tians really are. I mean, the banana being the "atheists nightmare"? it's a cross breed of fruit that was full of seeds and bitter as hell before humans started experimenting. And the whole interviewing and converting an atheist they (of course) find the stupidest person they could that wasn't in a church. Funny funny stuff though.

    10:22:00 AM  
    Blogger The Atheologist said...

    Yes rukh,

    It is truly hard to believe that there are people out there that actually believe this nonsense. It makes you realize that there are people out there who never think for themselves and for whom critical thinking is next to impossible.

    On the subject of the "atheists’ nightmare":
    Forget the fact that it was man who actually created the banana in the form that we enjoy today, do these people even question why there is no pop top on an orange or why you need tools to open the coconut or walnut. They do not, because then they would need to think a little.

    10:55:00 AM  
    Blogger Bruce said...

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who saw the homoerotic subtext.

    I'm looking forward to Ray's next video, "How to churn butter".

    2:47:00 PM  
    Blogger Underblog.co.uk said...

    He did specifically point out that it doesn't spurt in your face.

    Actually he's right though, bananas have not evolved. My latest post has evidence to support it.

    11:38:00 PM  
    Anonymous Kristin said...

    I LOVED that video. I laughed out loud when they used a banana's non-slip surface to prove the existence of god. My other favorite part of the video is how they stressed that one shouldn't argue with the atheist, they should just show them that (1) they aren't really an atheist and that (2) they really aren't good people. Could it be that they are afraid their followers won't be able to win an agrument with an atheist? It's really pathetic though, when you sit and think about it, that people people actually believe this stuff!

    11:01:00 AM  
    Anonymous UK_Atheist said...

    The first time I saw that video I honestly thought it was a spoof. These two guys, romantic backdrop, bananas proving a god's existence.
    And then someone on Yahoo Answers posted it as a "see? Atheists are wrong" thing.....
    And I realised that some people will actually believe this stuff!
    Maybe we haven't left the dark ages - maybe we are in the twlilight zone, I don't know.
    But bananas? PLEASE!

    6:30:00 AM  
    Blogger Sheldon said...

    That indeed is the funniest thing I ever saw. I loved it when Ray just for a moment started forming his mouth like he was going to deep throat that bananna, and suck it really hard.. oh yeah, keep going...0000hhhh
    Ooops, sorry folks.

    Anyway, if he thinks that God designed the bannana for humans, I would like to ask him about his design for all the nasty diseases in the world that are living organisms.
    Anyway, great blog, just found you todaay.

    8:52:00 PM  
    Blogger The Atheologist said...

    Thanks for the kudos Sheldon.
    Ray Comfort has actually given up on the whole banana proof. I will have an update soon.

    9:24:00 AM  

    Post a Comment

    Links to this post:

    Create a Link

    << Home