The Atheologist

Theology is the study of theism; Atheology is the study of atheism. I am The Atheologist. Why don’t Atheists embrace religion when the vast majority of humans do? Why are Atheists regarded by most of society as thugs, rabble, vermin and generally naughty people. The Atheologist will attempt to seek out the true answers to these and many more questions by using logical assumptions, interviews with people of all faiths and really, really good research. The Atheologist wants to know.

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  • Tuesday, April 11, 2006

    Happy Birthday Muhammad!

    Today, April 11th is Mawlid or Mawlid an-Nabi or Milad al-Nabi or مولد، مولد النبي، ميلاد النبي, the celebration of the birth of Islam's prophet Muhammad. Well actually the Sunnis celebrate it today but the Shi'as will be celebrating it on the 16th. The Atheologist’s research into the confusion concerning the correct date of his birth, has led him to the conclusion that it can be attributed to, (blamed on), Muhammad’s mother. Legend has it that when Muhammad's mother gave birth on April 11th, she realized that little Muhammad missed the cutoff for the draft into the Meccan Army, by 2 days, and would be inducted when he reached the age of 12. Being the loving and caring mother that she was, she changed the date on the birth certificate to the 16th so that Muhammad would be drafted into the army a year later and also be able to work in the family business until he was 13 years old.

    For those of you who have never attended a Muhammad birthday party celebration, it is indeed a festive celebration! There is always lots of great music and food, but you won’t see any Italian sausage or Budweiser being served. Of course, only men are allowed to participate, women are turned away at the door, no matter how hot they may be. The celebration ends with the birthday boy's cake being brought out. Everyone sings the Islamic birthday song. Here are the words to the song, translated into English. They are taken directly from the Koran:

    Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you,
    Happy birthday dear Muhammad, happy birthday to you.
    Happy birthday to you, do not make friends with a Christian or Jew, (5:51)
    We will murder them and treat them harshly. (9:123)
    Kill the disbelievers wherever we find them, (2:191)
    Fight and slay the Pagans, seize them, beleaguer them, and lie in wait for them in every stratagem. (9:5)
    And fight with them until there is no more persecution and religion should be only for Allah, (8:39)
    Happy birthday to you!

    The last part of the song lost some of its rhythm and flow due to the translation from Arabic, but it sounds great when sung in its mother tongue.

    Here's a funny picture of Muhammad with a birthday candle on his head. Those silly Muslims!

    The Atheologist


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