The Atheologist

Theology is the study of theism; Atheology is the study of atheism. I am The Atheologist. Why don’t Atheists embrace religion when the vast majority of humans do? Why are Atheists regarded by most of society as thugs, rabble, vermin and generally naughty people. The Atheologist will attempt to seek out the true answers to these and many more questions by using logical assumptions, interviews with people of all faiths and really, really good research. The Atheologist wants to know.

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  • Monday, April 24, 2006

    Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day


    Today, April 24th is Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day. At this time of year, one other well known group tries to grab all of the attention insist that their genocide is better than everyone else's. This year the underdog will get all of the Atheologist's attention.

    The Armenians are always proclaiming the fact that their country was the first one to adopt Christianity as the national religion. What a bunch of braggers! Being the first Christian state is all well and good but has it helped the Armenians any?

    Over the centuries Armenia has suffered from a multitude of invasions, wars, massacres and has been conquered by the Greeks, Romans, Persians, Byzantines, Mongols, Arabs, Ottoman Turks, and Russians. In response to Armenian nationalist stirrings, the Turks massacred thousands of Armenians in 1894 and 1896. The most horrific massacre took place in April 1915 during World War I, when the Turks ordered the deportation of the Armenian population to the deserts of Syria and Mesopotamia. According to the majority of historians, between 600,000 and 1.5 million Armenians were murdered or died of starvation. The Armenian massacre is considered the first genocide in the 20th century. To this day Armenia’s external political situation remains unstable and problematic. Not to mention the yeast situation.

    After all these centuries why have things not settled down?
    What can be done to reduce or even eliminate the tension in the Caucasus?
    The Atheologist thinks that he has the answer.

    The Atheologist has a suggestion for the Republic of Armenia and that suggestion is a simple one: Change your national religion to Islam. It may be that simple! By admitting that you realize your mistake of picking Christianity as your national religion and switching to Islam, your neighbors will now embrace you and think of you as friends instead of infidels and heathens. Just take one look at a map of your country and those that surround you. Do you see many friendly Christian neighbors on your borders? Except for Georgia, (and they have their own problems), the Atheologist certainly does not! Azerbaijan - 93.4% Muslim, Iran – 98% Muslim and your ‘favorite’ neighbor Turkey – 99.8% Muslim. What will it take for you to see that the Atheologist is right, another holocaust?

    The Atheologist can picture a much brighter future for Armenia, where Armenians and Azerbaijanis will gather together and be laughing at the silly Nagorno-Karabakh tiff. Turks will be seen embracing Armenians and finally admitting after so long that, “yes we did it and we beg for forgiveness from you and Allah”. The Atheologist sees Iran and Armenia helping each other in the nuclear power department. Beauty contests would be a lot more fun. And Armenians would now be able to participate in a Jihad if they wished, (no doubt a secret fantasy for many).

    Do it Armenia, you won’t be sorry.

    The Atheologist

    11 Comments:

    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Great suggestion but why just Armenia? If we in the USA don't want another 9/11 lets all convert too.
    You have unknowingly hit on why Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world. If you ain't one of them your a goner.

    3:54:00 PM  
    Blogger Bacon Eating Atheist Jew said...

    If the far left was in charge we'd all be converts in waiting.

    The Armenians might have done worse if they chose Judaism over Christianity though, if it was in fact possible to do worse.

    8:14:00 PM  
    Blogger The Atheologist said...

    beaj said:
    "If the far left was in charge we'd all be converts in waiting."

    Of course the same goes for the far right.

    1:33:00 PM  
    Blogger grassrootsblogger said...

    There is an interesting book out titled "The End Of Faith" I read it several months ago, and Lo, the Creator of the book was interviewed last night on the spoof right wing talk show 'Colbert Report' That gentleman is a very brave athiest that someone with your avocation you might want to study.

    11:13:00 PM  
    Blogger The Atheologist said...

    Thanks for the suggestion grassrootsblogger, I am very familiar with Sam Harris, he is indeed a very brave atheist. I'm sorry that I missed him on the 'Colbert Report', I'll have to see if they have it on the Comedy Central website.

    8:34:00 AM  
    Blogger The Comment Pimpette said...

    However, if the Armenians converted to Judaism post WWII, then the Armenians would have a homeland. It would work well for the Jews as they would then get to adopt a few more holidays based on tragedy.

    It's a win win situation.

    3:54:00 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    It is too bad that denial is not only fueled by religion. Then you might actually have something.

    Turkey's official state policy of denial of the Armenian Genocide (motivated by their fear of taking responsible and being “punished” in some way) is an embarrassment to Turkish people., who know better.

    1:34:00 PM  
    Anonymous Armen K. said...

    Christianity for Armenians, whether it has helped us in their lives or not over the centuries, is of little concern for us because unlike Evangelists or Catholics, our Church is a national church. It is part of our identity and part of our culture. During the Nagorno-Karabakh War, Armenians, during a time of tumult, corruption, death and sorrow, we looked towards our religion to guide and help win it.

    Our relations with Islamic Iran are exceptional, the Turks cult-worship Ataturk more than they do Allah and Azerbaijan is still wandering between the fields of secularism and Islam, unable to buttress its fragile nascent, nationhood.

    Converting to Islam will do Armenians no good regardless. Its easy to see how in Iraq a Sunni will kill Shia without hesitation in revenge killings and our problems will not absolve. After 1300 years of Muslim persecution, we're going to give in now?

    3:12:00 AM  
    Blogger The Atheologist said...

    Onward Christian soldiers!

    7:14:00 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    "Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. "

    "Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first."

    - Jesus the Savior

    6:53:00 PM  
    Blogger AgnosticThought said...

    The issue with Armenians is not a political issue, but a historic and cultural issue. Armenia has always been at the crossroads of Europe and Asia, within the sphere of influence of many powers. Stuck between Persia and Rome, or the Byzantine and the Turks, or these days, Russia/Iran and the West. Christianity in its time was important to help preserve national identity. Those people in the region that failed to preserve their independence are not non-existant. Ever heard of Cappadocians? Pontians? Phrygians? Alarodians? These groups were unable to preserve their cultural identity.

    These days, with nationalism, christianity is not the only method of preserving cultural identity. Armenia can shed religion all together and perhaps officially declare an atheist state. But converting to islam, which I assume was said tongue-in-cheek would be a worse idea. For one thing, why would we want to suddenly be circumcized, not allowed to eat pork, or especially drink alcohol?

    As for your ignorance, here's a snippet of information you don't know. In Turkey today, there are Armenians who converted to islam to escape persecution. They are called Hamshen, and they speak an Armenian dialect. However, their cultural independence has been slowly eroded and they are today regarded as Turks. In another hundred years, they will no longer identify as Armenians.

    1:16:00 PM  

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