The Atheologist

Theology is the study of theism; Atheology is the study of atheism. I am The Atheologist. Why don’t Atheists embrace religion when the vast majority of humans do? Why are Atheists regarded by most of society as thugs, rabble, vermin and generally naughty people. The Atheologist will attempt to seek out the true answers to these and many more questions by using logical assumptions, interviews with people of all faiths and really, really good research. The Atheologist wants to know.

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  • Thursday, October 19, 2006

    In His Own Image


    As the faithful all know, God created mankind in his image. Well, the Atheologist has come across a bible verse that shows that God is a lot more humanlike than most people realize. In Isaiah 16:11, we see that God is talking about releasing his internal digestive pressure externally, (in other words farting), as most of his human creatures have been known to occasionally do:

    "Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kirharesh."

    I can just hear the atheists trying to explain this away by saying things like there is no proof that God produces real farts, or since they have not heard or smelled them themselves then they have no reason to believe that he does. The atheists may also use another ploy and say that since the Bible was translated and retranslated so many times, it is possible that what really happens is unknown and God may not actually fart, but simply burps.

    Well the Atheologist is way ahead of those atheists and has begun searching the Bible for more examples of God and/or Jesus’ more humanlike qualities. The Atheologist will be on the lookout for other homo-sapien like traits in our Lord and his son such as; forgetting birthdays, having a bad hair or clothing day, waking up late for work, having road rage, losing their house keys, not being totally honest on their tax forms, losing patience with their children or taking family members for granted, eating too much during the holidays, littering…etc.

    Here’s a bonus Bible verse on flatulence and the good Lord's forgiveness;
    Economiclassians 37:12:

    "And though a foul wind bloweth, a stench so unholy it singes the hair and leaves no clean air, the Lord, ever so merciful, grants His Grace unto that's wind's bearer. And Lo, even as such wind sickens the heart and mind and lost lunch pools in corners, the bearer can be held blameless for such is the Will of the Lord."

    The Atheologist

    4 Comments:

    Blogger bigdumbchimp said...

    I know every time that I sound my nether regions for Moab, I feel closer to the Allmighty.

    10:39:00 PM  
    Blogger The Atheologist said...

    BDC said:
    "I know every time that I sound my nether regions for Moab, I feel closer to the Allmighty."

    Good for you BDC, just don’t move closer to me!

    And I have often wondered why people don’t say, ‘God bless you’, to someone when they fart.

    5:18:00 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    10 steps to rearing a heathen child is obviously a sarcastic article written by a christian. That's nothing less than absurd that you would think that it is serious.

    4:52:00 PM  
    Blogger The Atheologist said...

    What’s even more absurd is why someone would leave a comment on a 4 month old post which pertains to a recent post.

    5:02:00 PM  

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