The Atheologist

Theology is the study of theism; Atheology is the study of atheism. I am The Atheologist. Why don’t Atheists embrace religion when the vast majority of humans do? Why are Atheists regarded by most of society as thugs, rabble, vermin and generally naughty people. The Atheologist will attempt to seek out the true answers to these and many more questions by using logical assumptions, interviews with people of all faiths and really, really good research. The Atheologist wants to know.

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  • Thursday, March 15, 2007

    Possible Atheist Killed At NJ Turnpike Rest Stop

    A 75 year old man was killed today at a New Jersey Turnpike rest stop for refusing to buy a religious CD.

    Why did the man refuse to purchase the CD? Was it because he was an Atheist, or was he simply a little short on cash? The Agitated Atheist has his take on it, here, and a movie recommendation too.

    Wednesday, March 14, 2007

    The Other Atheists' Nightmare - The Pickle?

    Most of us remember the original "Atheists' Nightmare", in the video that introduced us to the team of Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron, and astounded us all.
    Well, one of the Atheologist’s west coast sources, (while scrounging through the dumpster behind the Living Waters Publications creative design headquarters), has come across and provided to the Atheologist what looks like a transcript to a new, “Way of the Master” video. The heading on the transcript is, “The Pickle, The Atheists’ Nightmare”.

    Here’s an excerpt:

    Ray: Kirk, take this and hand me that jar of pickles. (Ray hands Kirk the opened can of sardines, accidentally spilling some oil.)
    Kirk: Oh, gross! That stinks!
    Ray: Sorry Kirk, unlike the sardine can, which was obviously designed by man who sometimes manufactures it with a pop tab, sometimes with an unwieldy key that has to be fitted onto the protrusion just right and sometimes with no means to open it at all and having to rely on a can opener which is usually no where to be found, the pickle jar has a large top which its creator, almighty God has designed to perfectly fit the adult human hand. The human hand needs to only provide a moderate amount of torque and bingo it is opened! (Opens pickle jar). Please note that we are talking about the half-sour pickle here, not the kosher dill version that has been tampered with by our hell bound Jewish friends. As one removes a pickle from the jar, (removes a pickle from jar), notice that even though it is still wet it does not slip out of my hand, that is due in part to the little bumps put there by its creator, almighty God. Now along with the bumps, the rest of the outer casing of the pickle is entirely edible with the exception of the stem, which the Lord in his infinite wisdom has composed of 100% biodegradable matter. (Placing pickle up to Kirk’s lips.) Take a taste Kirk.
    Kirk: I’d love to. (Taking a bite of the pickle, some pickle juice dribbles down to his chin.) It's so crispy and firm.
    Ray: Yes it is Kirk. Notice that almighty God has designed the pickle, to fit perfectly into the human facial orifice, or mouth, as it is commonly known. We all just witnessed Kirk so effortlessly confirm that, although he does needs to work on his gulping technique. (Kirk and Ray giggle and chuckle together.)………

    As in the video with the first, "Atheists’ Nightmare", (despite the fact that this is only a written version), the Atheologist can’t help but feel the chemistry and camaraderie between Kirk and Ray. The Atheologist hopes that if this, “Pickle” video, ever makes it into production it will not cause the same side effects that the, “Banana” video did.

    The Atheologist

    Here's a pickle video that was probably not produced by Living Waters Publications, (but you never know).

    Thursday, March 08, 2007

    The Agitated Atheist: Why I Am Agitated

    The Atheologist will at times have guest posters who will share their views on subjects related to atheism. Today the Agitated Atheist, who has a brand new blog, is the Atheologist’s guest poster:

    Why am I agitated?

    Here’s an example of how an average even tempered atheist can become agitated and angry, (it may look like I’m picking on the Christians but at the moment, in the good old USA, they are the group most likely to agitate):-
    How about when some worn out former homecoming queen piece of crap trailer trash with two teeth, from the Inbred High School choir spews some hateful, vile shit like, “u r gonna go 2 hell 2 burn 4 ever b cuz Jeesus luvs u", and this waste of a human life actually also has the nerve to act surprised when you get pissed at her for screwing with you. Things like this can agitate and make atheists angry.

    Atheists usually have a good reason when they become angry. A large percentage of Theists don’t even know what an atheist is. For those morons who are interested – an atheist, for the most part, is someone who sees no evidence of a supernatural being or god and therefore sees no reason to believe in one. No, we don’t, “hate God”, eat our children or worship the devil as many of you dimwits have been told. And we are usually smarter and morally superior than you religious kooks. That’s right – look it up in your Bibles if you can read.

    The truly angry people are the ones who run around vomiting mindless hateful crap like Theists do to atheists every day. The depraved crap that Theists spit out every day would put Hitler to shame - "Come believe in and worship this loving being who has ordered his people to commit rape, mutilation, genocide, torture, child abuse, kidnapping, slavery, and murder - or our wonderful loving god will send you, the child he so dearly loves, to eternal torment." Again, read your Bibles!

    The Agitated Atheist? You bet your ass I'm agitated! But I only become that way when I get openly attacked day after day and year after year by "loving people" who follow this "loving god" and who spew out crap at me which I could never hope to compete with when it comes to anger, hate, intolerance, and bad will towards mankind. The only reason that we atheists are frequently angry is because Theists are so frequently attacking us while running their mouths in high gear and their brains in low gear. ! I'm agitated and angry because you idiots are so un-believably infuriating, you walking, talking piles of horse crap!

    The Agitated Atheist